Confessions: My ‘Green Thumb’

So I have a track record of killing plants and flowers. I used to water them too much, forget about them, and even forget to cut the ends of my roses and feed them. As previously stated in previous post, I am a clumsy individual so I have a track record of knocking over a few plants around my own home. It had gotten so bad that when my husband would buy me plants or flowers he’d take them right back and put them out of my reach. He’d put them in a place where I could admire them from a distance. So needless to say, I hadn’t knocked over or killed any plants or flowers for a long time.


In the past 6 months I’ve actually started giving a shit about plants and appreciating them. So much so that I was starting to turn my home office into a greenhouse so I’ve had to chill out on buying more.


Lately I’ve had friends and family stop by my house and swooning over all of the plants I have in my home office. The comments I’ve heard range from, “I love the plants” to “I wish I could grow some plants but I don’t have a green thumb.” My confession is: I don’t have a green thumb either. I still kill plants and flowers. My secret is, buy low maintenance plants that come with care directions and indoor plant food!

You can thank me later for this advice.


When maintaining plants, I water feed and trim as needed on a weekly basis. When I say trim I mean, trimming off the ends that are either turning a brown rotten color or the parts that feel as crispy as a Lays potato chip.

I feed my plants with Miracle-Gro Indoor plant food once a week and water them twice a week.


Sometimes, I won’t even water them twice a week. These low maintenance plants allow me to “fake the funk” and act like I have a green thumb to those that come over and don’ know much about plants. Get like me and spruce up your life with some plants. (Disclaimer: I’m not responsible for your plant dying. Hell if it dies, just remember you took planting advice from a rookie!)

List of a few Low Maintenance Plants:



-Spider Plant

-English Ivy

-Jade Plant

-Rubber Tree


-Peace Lily

-Snake Plant


-Heart-Leaf Philodendron


My Pothos:




7 thoughts on “Confessions: My ‘Green Thumb’

  1. Melanie Frost says:

    You are hilarious! I have a brown thumb too. I can’t grow plants at all plus I don’t have the patience to wait for them to bloom. My hubby is into gardening and even designed a whole container garden system that we use to grow vegetables. I’ll let him tend to the plants and I will just eat the rewards.


  2. rebecca says:

    It’s funny. I have a container garden, but I’m terrible with indoor plants. I did just buy an aloe for medicinal purposes. It’s a succulent, so here’s hoping it survives.


  3. Jenna says:

    Haha very smart way around it. I have one houseplant that I manage to keep alive and I don’t know how. I have no idea the last time we watered it. Maybe I should do that now…


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